Eren x Reader: Beauty From Pain (4)

All you could think about is how you kissed him that day.

-Flashback-
It was two weeks ago a couple of hours after you all had returned from an expedition. You were in your room. Ana had gone out again and you were left by yourself. You sat cross legged on the floor. You were leaned back on the bed and your dull seemingly lifeless eyes lingered on the mirror before you. Your neck hurt because of how much pressure you put on your spine from this position. You scrutinized every detail of your body one by one disgusted by each little detail. Suddenly you heard loud stomping of boots. You turned your head to the door just in time to see a brunette haired, green eyed boy burst in.

"Eren..." You stood up and he walked towards you.

"Your alive..." He gripped the sides of your head and slid his hands down to your shoulders. He brought his forehead to yours like your first date and began to cry.

"Eren what's wrong?" You caress  his warm cheek that was now slick with tears.

"I couldn't find you!" He choked out.

"Eren..."

"I asked everyone! No one knew where you were! I.... I..." He looked into your eyes, his lip quivering and whispered. "I thought you were dead. "He said just above a whisper. "I thought you died without..."

"Without what Eren?..." Even as those words slipped from your lips you felt your heartbeat quicken.

"I thought you would die... Without hearing me say the words... I love you. "He grimaced and looked away. "Damn it I sound corny. "He said letting go of your shoulders. You grabbed his shoulder and brought him to face you.

"Eren. I love you to. "You stated simply. His eyes widened at this.

"What..."

"I love you. I love spending time with you and seeing you everyday. And going on our little dates to the inner wall. "You blushed and felt your arms waver on his shoulders. Eren put his head down and wiped away his tears that glossed his cheeks.

"Eren stop crying-" But your words were cut short when you heard a chuckle. "Eren?" Then he abruptly threw his head back in a fit of laughter. "Eren? Woah!" You said as you felt yourself get lifted off the ground and swung around.

"We're both alive! And you like me to! Im so happy! I just don't know how to feel ____!" He giggled more. Before he could put you down he slipped on the hardwood floor. His eyes widened as you both flopped onto the bed. You on top of him. This led to a fit of giggles from the both of of you.  Slowly the giggles stopped and you both stared wistfully into each other eyes. As you stared the distance between you two became smaller and you soon felt a soft pair of lips touching yours. He wrapped his hands around your torso and pulled you close. His hands slid up and down your sides and down to your butt squeezing it softly. From there he slid his hands down to your thighs and pulled them up beside his hips. "Your so beautiful _____..." He whispered into your ear.

-Present Day-

You made you way to the cafeteria with Ana. You two from there grabbed an apple some tea and a small cup of oatmeal. You sat beside Eren and smiled.

"So what kind of torture do they have in store for us today?" You chuckled as you sipped the bitter green tea.

"Well today we're going to do training then weigh ins then lunch. And we'll end the day cleaning. "He chuckled eating his bread. "But there weighing the boys and girls separately so they can get more training time.  "He said looking back at you. You nodded slowly and glanced at Ana. She gave  you a look and kept eating.

"Sounds fun. "You smiled half heartedly and gulped down the rest of your tea. You ate your apple and a couple of bites of oatmeal before you felt as though you were going to vomit. "Hmmm... To much food. "You said grabbing your stomach. Eren glanced over and frowned.

"You've barely eaten anything. "He said with a worried expression. You sighed and kissed his nose.

"I'll be fine. I'm just not all that hungry today. "You flashed another fake smile and got up dumping your food.

You and Ana trained hard in practice sadly for you you felt an enormous headache every time you ran or jumped. On top of that you've started getting terrible dizzy spells in which you have to stop and lean against a tree. Each time you wanted to tell the Levi you had to take a break or something but each time Ana would remind you how good you'll feel afterwards which made you keep going.

After practice came the weigh ins. The girls went first and Ana went before you.

"Ana Riskia. 100 lbs!" Erwin called out.
"Next!" And with that you ran up to the scale. You felt nervous and eager at the same time.

"(First name/Last name). 148 lbs!" Erwin called out making your eyes widen. You walked off the scale and smiled. You ran up and hugged Ana.

"I lost 7 pounds!" You shrieked and jumped around with her. She seemed equally excited and jumped to.

"You did you did!" She had her ever so rare nowadays sweet expression. Your expression soon turned to fear as you looked up at her.

"B-But next is lunch..." You stuttered. Ana smiled and brought your head to her chest.

"It's alright I'll take care of you. "

-time skip to lunch-

Well despite getting a full plate of food you simply sat and messed around with it. You ate the mashed potatoes and a couple of bites of meat. Though you sat with a seemingly genuine smile you pushed and rubbed the bones through your flesh. To be specific you would cross your arms and rub your ribs. Or you would slide your hand up and down your collarbone. By now all you strived for was to see your bones. Once you finished "eating" you put you dishes up to be washed. You did the same thing at dinner and when Eren questioned it you said you just didn't feel well today.

After dinner you two decided to go hang out in the back of the castle. You sat in Eren's lap and leaned the back of your head on his shoulder so you could still look up at the stars. He wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled into you.

"Hnmm..." He groaned.

"What's wrong Eren?" You say stroking his shaggy brown hair.

"Your losing weight. "He said nuzzling you.

"You really think so!" You smiled and looked at him.

"Yeah you are. "You squealed with excitement at this. "Wait is that why you haven't been eating as much?" He asked now concerned with you.

"N-No. "

"_______... Tell me the truth. "He said sternly.

"I told you I don't feel well you saw me today. I was getting headaches my breathing was bad and I was getting dizzy. "You said trying to make it sound convincing. He looked into your eyes for a moment before sighing.

"Ok. If you say so. "He said going back to cuddling you. "Just do me a favor. "

"Hm?"

"Please just stay the same for me. "

"Ok Eren. "

Of course like the little sweetheart he is he walked you to your dorm and kissed your cheek before waving goodbye.

When you walked inside Ana was still awake reading her book.

"Hey why are you so giddy?" She asked closing her book. "Something good happen?!" She asked now excited.

"Well yeah... Kinda..."

"What tell me!"

"Well when me and Eren were cuddling he said... He thinks I've lost weight. "You thought Ana would be proud but she just rolled her eyes.

"You know he's lying right. "She stated simply. "He's trying to get you to eat more so you an get fat again. "Your eyes widened and you looked at her.

"No he wouldn't do that... Would he?..." You silently thought about how he acted towards you when you were happy you'd lost weight.

"Yeah he would. So be careful. Just don't trust anyone besides me ok doll?" She smiled, petted your head and climbed into her bunk. You stood there for a while processing everything.

"So should I stop... Should I stop seeing him?" You asked nervously.

"Of course not. It'll make him suspicious. Just never let anyone but me know your dieting all right?"

"All right. Good night Ana. "